The Pragmatic Philosophy
by Take This Seriously Sirius
Summary: You never leave the scene of a crime. But with the hotel ablaze, and three precious souls at risk, Justice Strauss may find herself doing just that.
1. Pragmatic Position

"You too, Justice Strauss," Klaus called, urging the judge to hop along."

Justice Strauss looked in misery. "No, she said tearfully, "I won't go. It's not right."

"What else can we do?" Sunny asked.

_Go to the authorities..._ but Justice Strauss knew in her heart this was futile. V.F.D. was dead, even if some of it's members weren't. There were almost certainly more villains in powerful positions searching for the Baudelaire's as they spoke, although, on the other hand, many of them were now dead as well. If somehow they made it out of the building alive, not even her word would be enough to save the children from persecution. Ever since that idiot banker took them away from her, Justice Strauss had been following them in a effort to liberate them. It was now clear this was a impossibility.

Nor could she help them hide. It was know obvious that literally _everything_ was connected to the schism, the origin of which she still knew nothing of. It slightly scared her to think that these two organizations controlled so much from behind the scenes. Well, maybe not anymore, but in the past.

But there was one thing she might be able to do; save the Baudelaire's from there own self-destruction. That required her to betray her principles in the short-term. She would not allow these magnificent children to become reluctant henchmen of Count Olaf. And that meant hopping along. You were never supposed to leave the scene of the crime. Ever. Yet leaving them to Olaf's clutches seemed far, far worse of an option. It was the ultimate Hobson's choice-die or become a accomplice to a villian to save children.

Pragmatist, a word which here means "doing things you don't like in hope of a best option," was the sort of person needed to be done to save the Baudelaire's. Justice Strauss had never been much of a pragmatist, but fires have a tendency to change people's minds about philosophy.

"Very well, I have no choice," Justice Strauss muttered grimly as she climbed aboard the boat.

"About time you wised up and entered the winning side," Count Olaf crowed.

"I'm not doing this for you," Justice Strauss snapped, "I'm being a pragmatist make sure the Baudelaire's aren't alone."

Count Olaf opened his mouth to respond, but she would never learn what the terrible man intended to say. The clock thrice rang, _Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!_ The Hotel Denouement collapsed beneath them, and the boat tumbled off the roof. Justice Strauss shut her eyes and tried to block out the screams.

She hoped her pragmatic choice was worth her previous values.


	2. Violate Vessel

Justice Strauss arms were aching badly. She had been rowing the _Carmelita_ for a seeming eternity long until her hand gave out. She, Violet and Klaus had agreed to rotate, but it was just too much for her after a while. Yet her ears hurt more, because Count Olaf had been boasting half the trip.

"I have triumphed over my enemies," Olaf crowed triumphantly to nobody in particular, "I've burned down Hotel Denouement, destroyed V.F.D., and the Baudelaires and Justice Strauss are in my clutches for good."

"Nobody kidnapped us, Olaf, we came voluntarily," Justice Strauss pointed out.

"Either way, you work for me now," Olaf replied dismissively, "soon enough, the fortune will be mine. I think the first thing I'll buy myself is a shiny new car!"

"You don't have a licence now that you faked your death," Justice Strauss noticed.

Olaf laughed. "Why would I care about that? I can forge one if I really need it. In any case, it needs a powerful engine, so I can drive faster than the legal limit, and an extra-thick bumper, so I can ram into people without getting scratched up! I'll name the car Count Olaf, after myself, and whenever people hear the squeal of the breaks they'll say, 'Here comes Count Olaf! Orphans, head for the nearest luxury car dealership."

Justice Strauss blinked, thinking she must have misheard the terrible man.

"We can't head for a car dealership, Count Olaf, " Violet said. "We can't head anywhere. The wind has died out, Klaus and I are exhausted from rowing, and I think Justice Strauss hand is still too red to do anything."

"Laziness is no excuse," Olaf growled.

"Laziness?" Justice Strauss repeated in outrage. "you haven't rowed the boat once. You haven't done anything since we landed in the water!"

Olaf pondered for a moment. "I've just decided that I'm renaming the boat! Your four contemplate a way to get us out of here while I contemplate a new name for our vessel. I don't want it called the _Carmelita_ anymore"

Justice Strauss was not especially swayed by this, but it would be a nice change not having to ride a boat called _Carmelita_ anymore.

"What do we do?" Justice Strauss Violet whisper to Klaus. "Do you think you can catch some fish for us to eat, Sunny?"

"No bait," Sunny replied, " and no net. Deap-sea dive?"

"Don't even think about it," Justice Strauss said fiercely.

"Justice Strauss, what do you think we should do?" Klaus asked.

Justice Strauss thought for a moment. "I have no idea, "she grudgingly admitted, "until we know where we are, we can't do much anything."

"I can make a compass," Violet offered. "All in need is a small piece of magnetized metal and a simple pivot."

"Is there anything like that on this boat?" Justice Strauss asked eagerly.

Violet glanced and sighed. "No. It's all back at the hotel."

"Well, that's all right," Justice Strauss said. "I'm sure we'll bump into some volunteers eventually."

The three siblings suddenly frowned at this remark.

"What is it?"

"Well," Klaus said, "do you really think it's...wise to trust them?"

Justice Strauss felt her jaw drop. "Well, who else is going to stop these villain's?"

"Hopeless," Sunny muttered.

"You mean your going to just accept it all?" Justice Strauss said, "your going to let Olaf win?"

"It's as futile as Wilfred Owen's poetry," Klaus said, "we simply have no evidence that we're innocent."

"Besides, is V.F.D. really that noble?" Violet asked.

Justice Strauss was astonished. "I would think an organization to stop villainy would be noble, yes!"

"But maybe they're just a different type of villain," Violet countered, "maybe they've become what they hate most."

Justice Strauss couldn't believe her ears. _They think there's no difference between the sides._

_And maybe they're right._

"I'm a genius," Olaf called out, "I've solved all our problems! Look!"

Olaf pointed to the end of the boat. Justice Strauss gently tilted over and saw that Olaf had dumped the _Carmelita_ nameplate into the water and replaced it with one that stated Count Olaf, although it seemed that another plate was beneath that one.

"I'll admit it's a slight improvement," Justice Strauss said, "but you shouldn't have violated environmental code by dumping that plate in the water. What if a sea creature tries to eat it and is poisoned?"

"Then they deserve it for being such woefully dumb animals," Olaf replied in indifference, "I see you've been listening to Charles nonsense back at the hotel."

"Renaming the boat doesn't help us, in any case," Justice Strauss continued, "we don't know where we are!"

Olaf chuckled. "Oh, Justice Strauss, so much legal knowledge yet so little awareness. I don't know where we'll be taken, but I know exactly how we'll get there."

"And how will we get there?" Justice Strauss challenged.

"Look," Olaf giggled. Briefly confused, Justice Strauss eyebrows rose in horror as she looked in the distance. Thick black clouds, with massive rain showers and a thundering noise, was coming closer and closer.

_This is what I get for abandoning my principles,_ Justice Strauss thought to herself.


End file.
